A Beacon of Light Website
Love & Romance
By The Abbotts
We all want love in our life and aspire to find our own Soul Mate partner, but the course of true love does not always run smoothly!
Here are some interesting articles and channeled messages about finding love and keeping it!
How to Love?
Surprisingly this is a question frequently asked by anxious men and women who have never truly experienced romantic love. They have read all the love stories and watched romantic movies, but their own hearts have never truly been given to someone else. They often think that true love is a myth invented by poets and writers. “Surely,” they tell us, “it is just a mixture of lust and affection?”
Here is a channelled message given to us, The Abbotts by Kwan Yin, the Chinese Goddess of Compassion concerning learning to love someone else.
My dear children, you ask me ‘How do I learn to love another person? How do I find true love instead of just lust?’ And I tell you that it begins with understanding yourself. Have you ever put others’ interests before your own? Have you ever sacrificed something that you truly wanted for another person’s needs? Have you ever felt a true connection to another person’s mind and heart, not just their physical body? Many men and women have not!
Many people have been hurt in life and find Earth, a difficult place to live upon and so, at some point in their lives they say, “Now, I shall only look after my own interests, not others!” and they close down their hearts and their empathy and compassion. They may have been hurt, emotionally or physically by their parents, siblings or lovers and their powerful egos react with closing down their loving natures. They develop a type of icy heart that does not allow itself to warm, in self-preservation. But then, when they want to be warm and loving towards a potential romantic partner, it will not warm-up as intended, but remains remote and unfeeling! How does one reawaken a dormant heart?
I suggest by learning to love others, not the beautiful, romantic ones, but the plain, lonely, unloved ones! Your heart needs to become compassionate, empathetic and working strongly, again. To do this you need to join a charity of some type and come face to face with men, women and children who need help. When you begin to truly know others, whether they are refugees, addicted, the poor or the ill, you start to use your mind and heart in a different way.
As your heart swells with Unconditional Love for these people, often a strange thing happens - you begin to see that all people, no matter what gender or race, social class or age, are all connected and linked by chords of love. You are truly part of a huge lovingly connected life force!
And surprisingly, even if in time you both go your separate ways; you send them off with good wishes, for they have shown you how to love. Now, you can go on to meet someone even more special, your Soul Mate with a warm and open heart!
So this is how you learn to love, my dears, by loving others, helping others, opening your life to others and finally opening your heart to romantic and unselfish love!
Blessings to you all,
May you all find Love,
Spread Love on the 14th!
February 14 th is Saint Valentines Day, traditionally a time for lovers to express their affection and love to their partners or potential soul mates. A great deal of emotional Love is generated on this day all around the Earth and synergy or increased spiritual energy is generated, as a type of mass consciousness. This special loving energy can be sent to everyone on Earth to create Unity of mind and matter and to express to others that we love and appreciate them, whether we personally know them or not! That can’t be bad!
If you would like to share this loving Oneness vibration with others, we suggest that you do the following exercise on February 14 th and imagine it flowing out across the Earth to every place and everyone.
Will you join us?
Sit down and relax.
Surround yourself mentally in a golden bubble of light and protection.
Feel love coming into your heart and mind.
Imagine it as a pink loving light growing within you.
Now imagine the Earth spinning in space.
Now send the loving light to a mass of pink loving light above the Earth that is being generated by many other loving beings like you.
See your loving energy increasing the huge pink light. Adding Love.
Now imagine this huge loving light flowing out across the Earth, spreading Love and Unity.
Mentally follow that light to every part of the Earth, every continent, every person receiving the energy.
Make sure you send it to yourself!
Then take 3 deep breaths and open your eyes.
Carry this feeling of love with you all day long!
Have You Found Your Twin Flame? (Perfect Partner)
Everyone desires to find their Twin Flame - the most perfect Soul Mate for them.
Try our fun quiz and find out if the person you find so fascinating, is indeed your Twin Flame or just an imposter!
Write down your answer (a), (b) or (c) to each of the 20 Questions below then add up your score at the end and read the appropriate section.
1. Were you instantly attracted to your partner?
2. Do you feel that you complement each other with your personal skills?
3. Is the relationship progressing in a smooth, loving manner?
4. Does the person you are attracted to, always encourage you to fulfil your potential as a person?
5. Do you personally feel content and relaxed when you’re with your partner?
6. Do you feel that you will remain faithful to your partner?
c. Don't know
c. Don't know
7. Do you feel your partner will remain faithful to you?
c. Don't know
c. Don't know
8. Do you enjoy the same activities?
9. Is your partner emotionally and mentally similar to yourself?
c. A little
c. A little
10. Do you think there is karma (good and bad) to work out with your partner?
c. Don't know
c. Don't know
11. How often do arguments occur in the relationship?
a. Very rarely
12. Do you feel that you both have the same goals and aims in life?
13. Are you and your partner working together to achieve a Higher goal to help humanity or the planet? (Example, save the environment or spread spiritual Light)
14. Is the relationship of your choice?
15. Do you fully understand your partner's opinions on major issues? (such as children, finances, fidelity, work/career, lifestyle choices etc.)
16. Do you and your partner talk freely, honestly and openly to one another?
17. Is your partner willing to make personal sacrifices to assist you in life?
18. Are you willing to make personal sacrifices to assist your partner in life?
19. Do you and your partner share similar spiritual or religious beliefs?
20. Do you feel the relationship has a future?
c. Don't know
c. Don't know
Add up your score
This indicates that your relationship is highly likely to be that of a Twin Flame partnership. You have the same interests in life and are working for a higher goal. You understand and complement each other and are willing to make sacrifices for the other. Your attraction may not have been instant, (which normally indicates a temporary, karmic relationship), but you are truly each other's best friend! Well done.
This indicates that your relationship has the potential to be that of Twin Flames, but you need to do some quick work on it. Try to find a goal that helps others, which you can both work on together. Try talking to one another about your inner dreams and ambitions. You both need to make a commitment to making your relationship grow into a more loving, more focused partnership. Ask for spiritual guidance to help your relationship improve.
This indicates that your partner and you are having major problems in relating to one another and this is unlikely to be a Twin Flames relationship. If you both want to make it into one, you will need to do lots of hard work to achieve this.
Try to find projects that you can work on together, which help others. Find time to discuss your beliefs and ambitions and don't be afraid to look at your personal problems and blocks. Ask spirit to help you achieve your goals of a loving, focused partnership. However if the relationship does end, release each other with compassion and friendship and be grateful for the learning possibilities, that the relationship created for you both!
You do not usually fall instantly in love with your Twin Flame, as this is a Higher love, not just that of personal attraction or passion. Instant, passionate relationships are usually karmic, transitory relationships. Instead your common interests and mutual respect, bring you both together.
Twin Flames often have complementary skills, rather than identical skills. She may be able to reassure people emotionally, while he works practically to help them. They encourage each other to achieve their full potential, even if it makes for personal sacrifice.
Twin flames enjoy being together in a relaxed, contented way, sharing dreams, attitudes and problems. They enjoy working on a project together, that is bigger than themselves. One that aids other people or the planet.
Their rare arguments are made up lovingly and they learn from the experience, not to repeat the same problem. Twin Flames share the same interests, ethics and religious beliefs. They are totally faithful to one another and work towards a positive future for themselves.
We send you our Blessings to find your Twin Flame!
Tony & Robyn Abbott
Are The Abbotts Twin Flame Partners?
Tony & Robyn:
"Definitely! We are blessed to have found each other. Tony was told by a clairvoyant to go to Katoomba in the Blue Mountains (Australia) and he would find his Twin Flame partner. And he did!
Faith triumphs again. Robyn felt that her partner would share her spiritual ideals and work and Tony certainly did!
We are both Aquarians with a discovered Life Mission of spreading information concerning Spirit. We work together for a higher cause, this brings us closer together!"
Searching for Your Twin Flame
At one point in humankind's development, dear ones, you as a great angelic being were split into two! Made into male and female, yang and yin! You were separated from your divine other half. Why? Because together you were too powerful, too fulfilled, too content.
You have both searched for many thousands of centuries for each other, for your true Twin Flame. And until you find that special angelic other half of yourself, you are always left wanting more!
You are frequently dissatisfied with your soul mate and kindred spirit relationships, pleasant as they may be, valuable as they may be, they teach you both lessons about yourselves and resolve karma between you both.
But they are not your Twin Flame, they are not your other angelic half! So, this is what drives you on to eliminate this inner loneliness and to fulfil your deep emotional needs - the search for your other half, to make you whole and divine, once again!"
Choosing a Life Partner
Q 1. I have met a wonderful lover and physically we're well suited, but I'm not sure if this is my Life Partner or Soul mate. Any ideas for finding out, if this is the One?
A 1. Most people find that physical attraction to a lover is the main component in their love relationship. They tend to fall in love easily and wear 'rose coloured glasses' about their partner. Their hormones tell them that 'This is the one!' Commonsense and objectivity go out the window!
By the time the sexual/love glow wears off, they are often coming to terms with the unhappy fact that they have married or are living with someone they hardly know and actually do not even like!
After a short unhappy period of fights and arguments, they will often split up the relationship and then search for someone else to end their loneliness.
However, they often continue this destructive pattern and just conveniently fall in love once more, with someone who is physically pleasing and makes their heart race!
As a spiritual person, you rightly, want to make the highest choice of a partner to spend your life with and complete your Life Plan. Of course it is a bonus, if they are physically attractive to you and your sex life is great! But before you race into a live-in relationship based only on physical compatibility, how about trying these simple exercises, to find out if you are also compatible on the mental, emotional and spiritual levels.
Some will need the co-operation of your partner, while others are assessments that you make on your own.
We know that you are wildly attracted to your partner physically, but try to overlook that for a full week. Begin to observe in an objective manner, as a psychologist would, how your love partner truly behaves.
Take particular note of -
1. How does your partner treat other women and men?
If this is done in an unkind, harsh, untrusting, exploiting and sexist way, then chances are when the 'bloom' of your relationship wears off, this is how you will be treated!
2. How does your love partner treat children? Are they considered a nuisance? Or does your partner enjoy playing with and talking with them?
If you want to have children one day, his or her current behaviour will often indicate how good a parent they will be! Also discuss methods of child raising, punishment etc.
3. How does your love partner treat his or her own parents and family?
If they are always fighting with one another or are estranged, remember this is how your partner has been socially taught to treat family members and will often re-enact this behaviour with his or her own future children and you!
4. How does your love partner view the world? Does he or she see it as a positive, abundant place or one full of fear and negativity?
This positive or negative attitude often draws similar events into his or her life. What they believe in, happens to them. As a life partner, this will obviously reflect on you!
5. What is your love partner's Life plan for the future? Are these goals compatible with your own?
If he or she wants material success, money, power and fame and you want inner security, peace and spirituality - you may find yourselves continually at odds with one another!
6. What are your love partner's beliefs on spiritual matters? Are they compatible with your own?
Many people overlook this important ingredient in a relationship, justifying their partner's non-spiritual life with the maxim, 'But he or she is a really nice person!' Unfortunately 'nice' people often become very intolerant of a partner who spends a good part of their time and income pursuing spiritual paths.
7. Does your partner want you and aid you, to reach your highest potential as a person? Do they encourage you to better yourself emotionally, mentally, physically and spiritually? Are your life and aims as important as their own?
If your love partner feels that he or she should spend most of the finances and time on their own goals, this is not going to improve after marriage. They have already set-up a relationship scenario, where they are the dominant partner and you the lesser one!
8. Does your partner treat you with respect? Does he or she ask your opinion on matters and often act on those opinions? Are they truthful, considerate and caring?
If a love partner is already treating you in an off-hand disrespectful way, this is not going to improve over time!
9. Does your partner remember your birthday, anniversaries, etc?
If they are uncaring about hurting your feelings regarding present giving, romantic dinners, family gatherings etc. they are not going to change, once they are living with you. In fact they will often grow lazier in this aspect of unloving behaviour!
10. What do your friends and family think about your love partner?
Often people disregard the negative opinions of their friends and family towards their love partner, but if your friends generally are concerned for your welfare and happiness, take heed! Often they can objectively see things about your love partner that can be potential problems down the relationship path.
11. Can you discuss everything with your love partner? Or are there certain taboo subjects that he or she will not discuss?
Remember that often these hidden problems will be carried over to replay in your future life together!
12. When you carry out a task together, mental, spiritual, physical or emotional, can you do it amiably and without conflict? Do you share household tasks or does your partner consider that there are female chores and male chores? Or is it a continual tussle of wills?
Imagine a lifetime of mental and emotional tug-of-war. Is this what you want?
13. When you disagree and argue with your love partner is it done in a controlled, non-physical manner?
If violence is present in your arguments, (hitting or slapping or mental abuse of name calling etc) this will only escalate after you begin to live together! Be warned!
14. Who is the first 'to make up' after an argument?
If it is always one partner only, then be warned that this is a pattern that will continue throughout your relationship. It can become very emotionally tiring and demoralizing to always be the 'pacifier'. If your partner gives you the 'silent treatment' and sulks, long after the argument has ended, then this is a very bad sign of a controlling, mentally abusive person!
15. Does your partner share their grief, worries and happy times with you? Or does he or she spend these important moments with others?
If you cannot share the good and bad episodes of life with your partner and receive and give loving support, then this will not going to get any better after marriage!
16. Is your partner still attracted to other women or men and shows this to you? Do you suspect him or her of cheating on you, during your love relationship?
Once a love partner has openly displayed their sexual feelings for others and disregarded your feelings and attitudes, this is definitely an indication of how they will continue in this particular behaviour. After all if you condoned it before marriage, they rationalize that you will condone it after marriage!
17. How does your partner treat animals and the weaker members of society? Is your partner racist or bigoted?
If your partner treats animals or other people badly and is bigoted towards others, these tendencies often increase with age! These negative traits are often taught to his or her children. So be warned!
18. How does your partner spend his or her free time? With you or with others?
This leisure pattern often continues into marriage and your partner will consider you unreasonable, when you ask to spend more time with him or her in his or her hobbies and leisure time activities!
19. How do you and your love partner handle your finances? Do you both have very different patterns of spending?
This can be a very big problem in many relationships. If one partner spends freely with no thought of tomorrow's bills, while the other is thrifty and overly cautious with money - many disputes will arise in the future! This is a major reason for relationship failure!
20. Is your partner willing to try to overcome his or her faults? Will he or she attend counselling with or without you? Can they be objective about their problems and are they striving to become a better, well-rounded person?
If he or she refuses to accept that they have any faults or refuses to change any negative behaviour, then you are in for a lot of heartache in the future!
After observing your partner for a week, what are your results? If your partner has few negative traits and will happily discuss the few problem areas in your relationship and actively work on overcoming these - then you have picked a potentially compatible soul mate! Well done!
Now look at yourself in the same way objectively, and search out your own problem areas and work on improving these and you will have a very happy, fulfilling love relationship!
If after observing you partner objectively for a week, you can see that he or she has many problem areas and that his or her life goals are in opposition to your own, plus he or she refuses to change, then you would be very wise to reconsider the relationship! Problems in behaviour don't just magically disappear and no matter how much you love your partner, he or she will not change into the person you deserve, if they don't want to!
Out there is someone special for you who will respect you, love you, care for you, share your dreams and encourage you to be the best you can mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually - your true soul mate! Don't settle for second best! But let your relationship breakup be done with kindness and unconditional love.
Here are thirty points of discussion that you and your love partner should discuss, before you decide to commit to marriage or living together. We suggest that you discuss several issues a night. You may be surprised at your differing opinions. Please speak openly and truthfully on all issues. Don't just agree with your partner for peace and quiet!
1. How do you both regard life? As negative, positive or a bit of both?
2. What are your major goals in life? Are they compatible?
3. What are your attitudes to spiritual matters? How much time should be devoted to spiritual pursuits?
4. Do you consider yourselves equal in the relationship?
5. What do you consider are male and female roles?
6. What is your general attitude to people? Are there certain people you dislike? Why?
7. What do you think about sex? Should it be a loving exclusive act or passion only? What if one says "NO"!
8. How do you view adultery or sex outside your relationship? Are there any situations in which it is permissible?
9. Do you believe that you should always speak the truth to your partner?
10. Should your partner always have your respect? When would he or she lose it?
11. Are there taboo subjects that you won't discuss with your partner? Why?
12. How do you regard the sharing of problems and emotions?
13. How do you regard the sharing of domestic chores?
14. How do you regard the sharing of finances?
15. Is your partner's career as important as your own? Will you support him or her in attaining promotion etc?
16. What are your special dreams?
17. Are you racist or bigoted? If so Why?
18. Do you want children? When? How many children? How will they be raised?
19. What is your attitude to pets and animals in general?
20. What leisure activities do you want to spend with your lover? Or without your lover? How much time allocated each week?
21. Can you discuss your past family problems and see problems in the future relating from them?
22. Have you an artistic aspect of your life. How will you pursue it?
23. How much time do you want to spend with friends? Which friends?
24. What is your attitude to alcohol and illegal drugs?
25. Would you ever break the law? Why?
26. If you argue would you ever hit your partner? Do you sulk? Who seeks peace first?
27. How do you makeup after an argument?
28. Do you believe in divorce? When and why?
29. Can you accept that you have faults and seek help in overcoming them?
30. Can you believe 100% that this person is your soul mate?
If your opinions are very similar on most points, then you are very compatible in nature and should have a happy relationship ahead. If the few opposing opinions are on trivial matters and you can both compromise and work them out, then you are truly soul mates.
However, if the few opposing issues are on major differences such as sex, money, life goals, then you may need to fully discuss these issues again, until some resolution is made. Otherwise, there are stormy days ahead in your relationship!
If your opinions are almost totally opposite, then think again. This relationship is doomed to fail, despite your initial physical attraction! Look for your soul mate elsewhere! But let your relationship breakup be done with kindness and unconditional love.
Love and light to all our visitors and readers.
We wish that every one of you will find your true soul mate!
Unrequited Love and Free Will
"I love a girl with all my heart, we had a brief, wonderful relationship, and then she unexpectedly broke up with me. I have sent her hundreds of letters, sent flowers and gifts and phoned her many times, but she is resisting my love. I'm sure she is my Soul Mate and I can't understand her behaviour. She is even talking of getting a restraining order out against me. How can I change her mind?" Determined.
"I know I've found my Twin Flame partner, but he just can't see it and has now moved out of town. I often dream of him. How can I make him love me?" Carrie.
Sadly, over the years we have received many emails concerning this topic, How to get someone you love - to love you back! Men and women put themselves through enormous pain dealing with this life lesson.
How can it be dealt with in a kind, caring, easy to understood manner? We turn to the Ascended Masters who understand all human emotions, actions and pain for this answer. We have channelled these short messages on this important matter. We hope that they will help you.
Mother Mary's loving advice -
"Dear children, I feel your pain. Unfortunately this is one of life's common lessons that we all experience at some time in our lives on Earth. One-sided relationships, just don't work! However this does not make it any less painful. Believe me my dears, if this person is rejecting you, they are not your Twin Flame, definitely not! They are what we call a karmic partners.
They are great friends of you on the higher planes, who are kindly teaching you one of life's major lessons for your own good - that you can't over-ride another person's freewill. Even if you seem to be doing it from higher or loving motives. Everyone has their right to make mistakes, reject love and choose their own romantic partners!
Now you will immediately say, "No, you're wrong!" But how can he or she truly be your Twin Flame? If they were, they would recognise it and be with you. Twin Flame partnerships grow slowly, peacefully and unmistakably right. They are not full of passion and unresolved conflicts. These are signs of a karmic, kindred spirit or lower soul mate relationships. You all will experience these during your many lives on Earth. They are great teaching tools. But a Twin Flame partnership is uniquely right to both parties. It involves sharing a special spiritual mission and complementing each other's abilities, not just love and desire.
So please treat yourself better than this constant pain of desire that can't be fulfilled. Meditate, rest, find new projects and friends, improve yourself on all levels of your being and allow time to be the great healer, for it truly is. Then believe me dear ones, at the right time, your Twin Flame will come to you and your love will be reciprocated and returned to you. Have hope, have faith."
When My Prince Comes...
Every month we receive many emails from girls and women (and some males) who are struggling with the issue of unrequited love. They demand to know the secrets of making a certain male love them. They implore the Masters and saints to soften the heart of an ex-love or awaken the interest of a new prospective lover.
They sincerely believe that if the do not attain that particular person as a lover, their life will be ruined, all hope will be gone and no way can they even try to find their true purpose in life and begin it. They honestly believe that the current love interest is the only one for them and without them their life is doomed.
While we feel great sympathy for them (for who hasn't felt this at some time in their lives?), we feel that this issue should be tackled in a rational and spiritual manner for it is truly stopping their spiritual and life growth!
One of the major issues that stop many women finding and performing their Divine Missions in life, is their dependence on finding the perfect soul mate first! Many girls and women feel incomplete without a male partner and this is understandable, (its natures way of continuing the species and we all need someone to love), however many supposedly intelligent females are brainwashed by society, into believing that without the man of their choice, they cannot accomplish anything worthwhile in life. This is so far from the truth, it's not funny!
Imagine if men thought the same way - poor little flowers who could not go to work, start a project or do anything alone without the aid of a woman! We would think their plight was hilarious, yet we don't see that many women do exactly these actions. The women's liberation movement seems to have by-passed many girls and women who feel they are incapable of achieving anything without a man's love and support. One would think, we were living in the dark ages rather than the 21st century!
We sincerely believe that the old myths of women's dependence on males and their limited abilities without masculine support need to be thrown out once and for all. So we have asked an Ascended Master, Kwan Yin, to comment on this by no means uncommon phenomenon.
"My dear women, if you could only see your angelic selves as you truly are - you are magnificent glowing beings of immense power and love. But how small you make yourselves. It is so sad. You limit yourselves with your utter dependency and reliance on males. Poor creatures who often shirk the responsibility. And who would blame them. For they are powerful angels too like you and don't want their power sapped.
My heart sorrows when I hear of women who allow men to harm, abuse or limit them. A true twin flame partner would never do this! If this is happening, you are with the wrong man (or woman), only a karmic connection. Just as you would encourage him to his full potential, so a twin flame partner would do the same for you. Please don't allow fear or misdirected passion to make you dependent on a male (or female) who limits your angelic powers!
When you believe yourself small, insignificant and powerless, you become so. It is a self-fulfilling prophecy. What you believe will happen, does happen! Men don't normally think like this. They believe that they are all powerful and all knowing. Just speak to one and see the self-confidence exhibited there. They believe that they are invincible and they become so! It is time that females all began to believe so. You are powerful, you are significant, you are a being of immense influence. Please use it!
You have many centuries of powerful women to emulate Cleopatra, Elizabeth 1st, Queen Victoria, Indira Ghandi, Marie Pasteur, Mother Theresa, so many queens, activists, doctors and politicians. Women who did amazing things. Who changed the world, by not being limited by society. Not waiting for a man to rescue them, but by beginning their life missions under their own steam! And you can too!
Look for what you want to do with your life and start doing it NOW! Don't wait for the right or wrong man to help you do it. Start now! There is an excellent chance that as you begin your Divine Mission, you will eventually meet your true twin flame partner. For you will be both doing a higher service to humanity and this brings swift bonding and a shared cause! Think great, act great!
For those of you suffering with unrequited love, I send you healing, but don't compound the situation by dwelling on it. Remember broken hearts heal and will love again. But you have to make the conscious decision to do so. To turn a sad love affair into an important learning lesson that will help you make more sensible and directed love decisions in the future. To choose a future partner who is truly right for you on all levels.
For everyone there is a twin flame, please believe this.
Love to you all,
Sananda's Practical Advice
"We suggest that you ask about your love relationship before going to sleep and ask that the Universe sends you Higher guidance in your dreams.
As the wisdom that you are gathering in the dream state begins to filter down into your conscious thoughts, you will begin to see the higher picture and that for a relationship to fully work, both parties must be actively involved in and contributing to that relationship.
It’s sad when a person falls in love with another person and their love is not returned. It sounds like this is what is happening to you. In your dreams you are meeting up with the guy you are in love with, but he does not seem to be feeling the same way as you do. This is why you are not getting a positive response in the physical world. Please try and respect him for his decision, for he has FREE WILL and it is his decision whom he wishes to be with and care for in this present incarnation.
Just because you have strong emotional feelings for him, does not give you the right to try and over-ride his FREE WILL. Please, try and accept his decision and move on with your life. For each second that you are connecting yourself and your emotions to him, you are stopping Spirit / The Universe from bringing someone else into your life that does want to be with you.
As with all things spiritual, allow time for a result and continue to develop yourself in all areas of your life.
In time you will draw into your life, a partner of equal values, vibration and out-look on life, a truly equal partner."
Kwan Yin's Wise Words
Dear friend, what can I say, so much pain and confusion! I suffer with you. But stop and think dear one, can you logically bring in the right person during such confused times?
Good results depend on clear, calm thought and you have neither here. Your desire is causing you pain. Buddha said this long ago. Better that you become like a monk, calm, centred, thoughtful and patient.
Your desire for this person will then recede and come into perspective. In a calm centred space you can then see if this relationship is viable or not. Is he or she truly what is right for you and them? Or is it an illusion? You have a long life span, perhaps eighty years or more, why must you find your true partner now?
Youth is a time of freedom and discovery, not necessarily life long commitments. It is your own inadequacies and needy nature that is saying, he or she must be mine now!
Be tender with yourself. Honour yourself. When you are at your best, mentally, emotionally and spiritually, your partner will arrive, not before, not in confusion, not through desire and suffering.
But when your inner being is truly calm and ready, your true love will arrive.
Have patience, it is an elusive virtue, but worth cultivating."
Blessings Kwan Yin.
Q 1. I had an unhappy childhood and I felt my mother never really cared for me. It's affected my life for the worse. How can I overcome this?
A 1. Beloveds, I am Mother Mary.
I ask you to let go of the past, for you all carry it, as a weight around your heart. Begin each day as if you were a newborn baby with a great adventure, a great life in front of you. You make your own reality; you make your own future.
Therefore, have your minds clearly on what you wish to achieve in this lifetime. Let no negativity seep into your thoughts. Envision a future of love and light and harmony and step into the void of the unknown, with a heart full of love and light.
Many of you have been born to families, in which the mother figure did not give you the great love that you craved.
Know that I, as the eternal mother, am always here with my arms open wide for you all. When you feel the tears come, when you feel the need for my love and nurturing, call upon me and I will be there.
I leave you now with love and with light.
Greetings I am Mary, Mother Mary.
At this time, I would like to discuss the Topic of Friendships. For friendships, have many different meanings. You can be a friend, as you would say, with your parent, with a child, with a partner, a lover or even total strangers. For really in the sight of God, none is separate or strangers, you are all part of the Divine.
Friendship, as I would say, is the free will act of two Beings coming together for mutual reasons. It is always hoped that this is done for the Highest, but it is not always, as you understand. For if you see two people coming together, to plot shall we say a robbery, this is not as you would say for the Highest, but for those beings it is an exercise that they wish to perform and because of free will, in most cases, it is allowed to happen.
Should it be against such a Being, as a shop keeper, it could be seen from above, that it is the repaying of karma. Because, in a previous life the shop keeper was the thief, and now it is time to level the books, to clean the slate of all ties and connections. For in life, particularly this life, it is important that all karmic ties, debts are repaid and any blocks that are connected to any of your chakras are cleaned and those acts against you are forgiven.
In the words of your Lords Prayer, 'I shall forgive those that have trespassed against me.' But also, that no negative thought patterning is held onto by either party. This is typically why they have come together. But on a more positive note, it is through free will that beings come together to create friendship. For friendships truly need nurturing, like a young shrub growing in your garden. For without water, some soil and really some love and affection, it will not grow to its full potential.
It is just the same with friendships. They may be on many levels and too many different depths. For really you would not call the bar tender a deep friend, in most cases. But he is a friend when you are upon his premises. But also, you would not call a close partner, a casual friend, I hope. For each has many different layers and many different meanings.
Because of the complexity of your Life Plans and your World plan, many different people, beings, will synchronistically appear and some may disappear upon your Life's journey. These people, those of significance to yourself, have come together at different times, to work through different situations, to repay karmic debts etc. As I previously mentioned, during past lifetimes you may have been friends and you wish to continue that or you may have been more intimate - you may have been lovers and married. The complexity and the depth will depend upon the amount of Light that is created between your union. I do not always mean a sexual union, but I do mean the sending of Light and the receiving of Light that you give one another, during your meetings as friends.
For all friendships need to be nurtured. For when you meet some people you may feel even as Light workers, a little uneasy. You may feel that they are totally different from yourself. They are perhaps emotional people, when you are a thinking type person or the opposite, it does not matter. I would suggest that you try not to draw a barrier or a wall around yourself initially, when you meet these different people. Send unconditional love to them and get to know that person, for with many people the more you get to know them, the deeper you delve into the friendship, the more growth is made and the brighter it blossoms.
Should a friendship only last for a small duration of time, perhaps only several meetings, several weeks or several months, it does not matter. It is hoped by Spirit that both have gained by it, from the mutual friendship. It is hoped that no negative karma, especially, is created by these beings and with their separation, each sends love and Light to the other being. They should continue to progress in their own Light and in their own life, with a clearer, better and higher understanding of all people, of all friendships, all different types.
For we in Spirit do not judge any of those beings on the different levels, for we wish to be like the Divine also, seeing all Spirits as the same and equal in the sight of the Divine. For during a friendship, initially, you never know on what adventures it may take you, to what depth it will evolve to and to what lessons will be learned. Please try not to draw lines or place upon these other beings, your own expectations, frustrations, worries or blocks of any sort. For you have not lived their lives nor their past and who are you to judge their actions? That is all I will say on that matter, now do you have any questions at this time?
Q 1. Would you say that most great friendships in your life are karmic?
A 1. No, not always, it depends upon many different aspects. Many may be karmic, karmic ties with past lives connections, friendships from the same planetary source etc. It is very difficult to say, the one is above the other. For in this life time, as with all others, sometimes you ask that new people, new beings will come into your life to help you expand your consciousness, to try and see life from their angle. So if you initially shut off this relationship, build a wall between yourself and this other Being, you will not gain from this, as if you had allowed it to flourish, if that is possible, if you are compatible, for then you have brought in a new aspect, you have widened your horizons and this is growth, and this is good.
Q 2. If you met some one and you dislike being in their presence should you try to overcome this?
A 2. Yes, most certainly. Some of those that can contact their own Higher Selves and/or Spirit directly, you may ask, 'Is there a karmic debt to be repaid?' You could ask, 'What have I done to this person to this being, in the past?' Ask, 'Why do I feel this negative vibration, to this Being?' And in most cases, we will reply with a suitable answer. I would suggest, as I have already stated, that you do not automatically draw a line or build a wall between yourself and the other being. Try to get to know them and see from what perspective they are coming. This is the best.
Q 3. There are some people, even those you spend time in their presence that they never seem to overcome their blocks, so they wear you down emotionally. So is there a cut-off point, at when you can decide to move on and leave them?
A 3. Yes, it is worthy question, I would say, do not give your Light to those that are hungry for the Light. You could visualise yourself in an auric egg and not allowing Light to be drawn off you, to feed their hunger. This is why with some people you will feel emotionally drained, for they are drawing your Light from you and depleting it. Which can have the affect of making you tired etc. If when you have met another person and you have got to know them and have gone further into the friendship, but now it can not be sustained or for any reason, problems can not be overcome, (I realise that you cannot be friends with everyone, for there are many different types of Beings upon the planet), I would suggest in a gentle manner, that you allow this friendship to gently filter away. Send that person love and Light and wish them the best, but do not hold onto negative aspects, that you feel towards this person.
You may ask Spirit what lessons you have learnt and look back upon yourself and see what you have learned from that person. Use it on many levels, for many different purposes. Even if it is a friendship that will not develop into a life long commitment of friendship. Let it give you joy and unity and love!
Just Be Kind!
Many people ask us, how they can begin their spiritual journey. Not everyone can become an inspiring speaker, counsellor or healer to others. But one way, we can all contribute to our society and raise the Light, is by being intentionally kind in our thoughts, actions and emotions.
Sounds simple doesn't it? But our way of present day living does not promote kindness. Instead it seems to promote suspicion and a dog eat dog mentality. Yet being kind to others shows compassion, unconditional love and angelic feeling. Something we can all learn to do!
How do you begin?
The next time you see an opportunity to help someone or say something kind - do it!
Learn to respond automatically to being helpful and generous. Always say the uplifting words, never speak unkindly or to deflate someone. That is not angelic!
Affirm each morning -
"Today I will be kinder!"
and put it into your thoughts, actions and emotions.
Kindness is normally associated with smiles, hugs and kisses, so do this more often!
Become the most loving person you know!
Kindness can change lives and raise your own vibration!
A friend who was naturally kind, wanted to get a certain job that was advertised. On the way to the interview, she stopped to kindly help a business man who had dropped his documents in the street. She was friendly and caring and made the man feel pleased not stupid. When she entered the room for her interview she saw that the boss was the man she had helped in the street, and yes through her kind actions, she got the job! The Universe was rewarding her kindness!
Another friend on a journey to Australia by ship, kindly helped a friendly couple with their children, entertaining them with games and stories and allowing the couple time alone. She was later asked by the couple who were impressed by her willingness and kindness, to become a nanny to the children, a well paid job.
It is important to be kind for its own reward, not to have the Universe reward you with similar karma, but it does happen. Being kind, saying gentle loving things to others, rather than the brutal truth, uplifts and inspires.
You can be kind, by just listening to another's sorrows, or offering to help someone who needs a kind service, such as shopping for the elderly. The Universe will send you many opportunities to be kind, patient and caring. So look for these cosmic nudges and return them with kindness. What have you got to lose? Compared to what you can angelically gain! Be kind!
"A divorce, painful as it can initially be, can lead you to wondrous things!"
Sociologists predict that the average person will have three marriages or long term partnerships in their lives. They will marry their first partner in their early twenties, then divorce and remarry in their late thirties, later divorcing and remarrying for the third time, in their fifties or sixties.
Anyone who has been through an unpleasant divorce or separation knows of the pain and negativity that is generally stirred up, as the divorce proceeds. Great bitterness can be generated through a nasty divorce and often remains with the two participants, throughout their entire lives. If you have recently experienced the ending of a relationship, such as marriage through divorce or a long term love affair, that has ended and left you feeling shattered, we would like you to briefly suspend all pain, suffering, anger and guilt and look at the situation from a higher, more spiritual overview. What you find may astound you and ease your emotional pain!
The ending of a marriage can be devastating to many people. It is often an emotionally draining and heart breaking experience for many men and women who did not even suspect that their marriage was in danger of collapsing. Sometimes they become severely depressed and think of suicide. Others feel very vengeful and want to 'pay back' their ex-partner for the hurt they have caused them. Many men and women see the ending of a long term relationship, as failure on their part and suffer far more then they need to, with their inner recriminations and guilt.
We acknowledge that it is healthy for you to mourn the ending of this formerly treasured relationship. If you were to act happy and non-feeling in such a dramatic and life changing stage of your life, it would not only be inappropriate, but you would be suppressing your emotions to such a degree, that in time they will inevitably rise back up, as emotional difficulties or physical illnesses. As counsellors, we have seen many clients who try to 'put on a brave face' and eventually find themselves in mental confusion and with long term emotional problems. We encourage you to cry, yell, scream if necessary and fully mourn the loss of a dream of long lasting love and a fulfilling relationship with a lover and friend.
Then… one day when you're feeling braver, in control and open to new ideas, sit down and read these wise words below. We hope they will change your perceptions on love and life for the better!
You may feel exhausted, confused and angry about your break-up and feel that fate has dealt you a terrible blow and on a physical, third dimensional and earthy level, it certainly has, but, we would say that from a spiritual aspect, the parting - was meant to be! Not only was it meant to be, but you chose for it to happen - before you incarnated to Earth. You wrote the entire relationship, (good and bad) and its eventual ending, into your personal Life Plan. Not only that, but your lost lover, also agreed to love you for a time, teach you certain lessons and then depart! It's just, that you've both forgotten the pact. And the pact was made, for the higher good of both of you!
If you are finding this difficult to believe, read what Mother Mary, an Ascended Master, has to say about broken relationships -
"Oh, dear ones, the pain you could all save yourselves, if you were to only understand that everything happens for a reason. Everything has a time limit - including many relationships. Very few people begin their adult lives with their Twin Flames (the perfect partner for you on all levels). Instead, you have a series of relationships with old soul mates from past lives, to work out karmic issues between you both. These are the passionate relationships which may last a few weeks or fifty years, but inevitably they end in sadness and bitterness! You feel betrayed and alone."
Now you may well be saying to yourself, 'If I did make a Life Plan, I would never write in bad things to happen to me!' This is a very common response. But Life Plans are set out to teach you experiences that you have not yet experienced or fully resolved. Unfortunately humans learn lessons quicker through pain, rather than by reward. Burn your fingers on a hot pan once and you are lest likely to hold a hot pan with unprotected fingers again. However a pat on the back or reward each time you used a cloth pad to protect your hands, would be very time consuming and energy overkill!
Life cannot consist purely of 100% pleasure, otherwise why bother to incarnate to Earth, you might as well stay up in Heaven. Earth is meant to be a training school for the spirit. Life incidents may often be painful, but they also spur you on to further growth, mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually!
While it is normal to feel anger and dislike of the partner who has hurt you so deeply, revenge and petty fighting is destructive for all concerned.
"Please remember dear ones, that between lives on the higher planes, you choose who will be your major love partners in the next life. They agree willingly to take on those roles in order to help you overcome certain emotional blocks and increase your personal knowledge. So often before life, you will decide to marry a soul mate male who will be your husband or boyfriend, for say seven years, then move on, once all that can be learnt from the relationship is thoroughly learnt. You may for instance have to learn patience and forgiveness and he, to learn gentleness and compassion.
Then after a period of reflection and inner growth, another male will come into your life to teach you new exciting lessons about relationships. Remember, you volunteered for this and so did they. It's just that you've forgotten the larger plan. It may astonish you to know dear ones that often a marriage or relationship is almost solely, to see how you handle the break-up! Whether you do it with nobility and kindness or hatred and anger.
Anger and hate tie you in, to inevitable new bouts in future incarnations with this soul mate, while forgiveness and gentleness usually frees you from their influence for ever! So do not be too upset my dears, for if this relationship has ended - he or she is not your true twin flame partner! Forgive him (or her), be kind and generous, take time out to discover the true you, work on yourself to perfect yourself and get on with your true vocation and life mission. In time, when you are ready for him (or her), your twin flame partner will arrive!"
Why are divorce and multiple relationships so prevalent, at this time, in our society? Spirit has told us in channellings that, "It is a chance to balance old scores and hopefully end all relationships, with love and forgiveness. When you hold on to bitterness, after a relationship has ended painfully, you are continuing the karmic pattern. Inevitably, you will draw that person to you, in a future life, where you will have to replay the scenario, until this time, you forgive and release them fully!"
Patterning or repeating the same behaviour over and over, is a key ingredient to the karmic process. The same beings are often involved, although they will often change sex and roles. One couple that came to us for counselling, revealed under hypnosis, that the wife had murdered the husband in one incarnation, in 14th century England, by pushing him over a cliff and he had murdered her, in a different past lifetime, in 17th century Italy, by smothering her!
These lives had been over a seven hundred year span, but the negative patterning behaviour had been repeated many times. In this current lifetime, they decided to approach their marital problems in a more rational way, through counselling and mediation. Whether they stayed together or divorced, was not the main issue, but, that they peacefully resolve their difficulties and broke the negative patterning. This would free them from tragic involvement with each other, in future lives.
While friends can be helpful and supportive in our lives, it is often the enemy as the ex-partner or his new partner who tests us and shows us our true natures. Are we really as forgiving, patient and loving as we imagine? Our enemies often show us that there is definitely room for improvement!
Sometimes, members of our soul group (1000 higher Beings) will purposefully take on this role, to help our emotional and spiritual growth. The greatest enemies on Earth can be the greatest of friends on the higher dimensions! Another good reason to always forgive your enemies - why carry the negative karma on to the next lifetime?
Mother Mary goes on to explain in a channelling -
"What is needed is a radical change of attitude! You need to honour the person (your ex-partner), for the years or weeks of life lessons that they gave to you; to praise their good attributes and be understanding of their human faults. To recognise that all that can be learnt from the relationship - has been learnt. And that you are now, a better more knowledgeable person for it! Life hasn't ended, it's just changed and you are brave enough and wise enough, to deal with the change!
Many people fear being alone or feeling lonely. This is wrong! This time apart from another, gives you time for spiritual growth, to discover the real you - an angel in physical form, experiencing life on Earth. Your relationship break up, is one of those lessons. Sad as it seems, it is just one in a long series of sad and pleasurable lessons, you asked to experience for growth!
Please, also understand that if your relationship has broken up - he or she was not your true soul mate, or else the relationship would have run smoothly for you both. You now have the wonderful opportunity to go out and find your Twin Flame Partner and this is what you truly want, deep down."
Divorce can have the benefit of freeing you up and allow you to reassess just what your life is truly about. Many of us follow very predictable lives that others unintentionally or intentionally impose on us. The restriction of a marriage has thwarted their true inner Being and higher desires. Many people begin their true Life Plan after a divorce. Divorce can finally allow many of us to follow our own path, at last!
Surprisingly, Spirit has assured us in channellings that divorce at this time, is part of the higher spiritual plan.
"This is a time in your society, for many people to end up karma, with many Beings who they have previously loved in past lives, as wives, husbands or lovers. That is why many people have many partners in their lives and the divorce rate is so high! This is a perfect example, of spirit using a negative situation for spiritual positivity! We would naturally, prefer you to meet your Twin Flame when young and live a contented life with your partner, for the rest of your life. But, so few of you marry your Twin Flames that it is inevitable that many people leave their partners and seek for that elusive being."
During this painful time how can Spirit help you?
"Ask the Universe, God or Spirit to help you to get over your last relationship break up and find your true inner Being, then eventually bring to you, your Twin Flame partner. Work on perfecting the inner spiritual you. Overcoming your emotional problems and blocks and your Twin Flame partner will appear, when you are ready. Develop yourself! For people usually attract to themselves, partners of the same calibre and spiritual, emotional and mental growth. So wipe your tears, dear ones. This is a sad time, but wonderful days will follow!
Mother Mary's wise and loving advice is inspiring, isn't it? And more importantly, it works! To give up your life, for the sadness you feel over the break up of a lesser soul mate connection, when your Twin Flame is just waiting around the corner, is plain ludicrous!
For those of you who are feeling vengeful towards your ex-partner, we suggest that each time you think of them - you send forgiveness, even if this is at first difficult to do. When you feel hatred or pain towards them, you are actually strengthening the heart chords to them! Making the pain worse! Gently imagine those heart chords disappearing. There is a famous saying, 'The best revenge, is to live a successful life!'
Divorce can be seen and felt as a dark tragedy or the opportunity for new growth and discovery. We have counselled many sad and depressed people who have gone on to worthy, fulfilling lives and eventually met a true twin flame partner. They have learnt valuable lessons from their relationship breakup and grief, but have found the courage within themselves to go forward to much happier and better lives. You too, can do the same!
* Here is a tip from Spirit that may help you to overcome your anger and grief at this time.
Colours have their own energy or vibration. They can affect the way we feel and encourage us to certain thoughts and feelings. During a divorce, the feelings we most need are Faith, Hope and Courage. Faith can be described as a lilac, mauve colour. Hope is displayed as a pale blue colour and Courage as a bright, bold blue colour.
Spirit suggests that women find a scarf or jewellery in these colours and wear them often to promote these positive feelings. Men can do the same with scarves, ties and other clothing. When you wear these colours, consciously think of what you are promoting - Faith, Hope and Courage and affirm daily -
"I start the day with Faith, Hope and Courage and they will help me throughout the day!"
Blessings to you all,
Tony & Robyn Abbott
'Be kinder than necessary because everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle!’